A Counter to the Conspiracy

        If conspiracy perpetrators are as powerful as theorists claim, then it is unfathomable that so many theorists can survive posting their theories on TikTok under their own legal government names. If secret societies aren’t powerful enough to handle content creators exposing their evil schemes on the internet in easily-consumable short-form video content, then I am forced to question the societies’ ability to hide the existence of giants who built the Incan terrace farm ‘staircases’ from the whole planet. In short, if the secret societies are as skilled and ruthless as you claim, then you should never have heard even a whisper of their existence in the first place. 

Inconsistent conspirator power scope aside, my question for those who believe in enormous, in-depth, world-spanning conspiracy theories is simple. Have you ever worked in a group project before? 

Ultimately, what is a conspiracy other than a group project with an incredibly narrow margin for success, an implausibly high level of coordination required, and at minimum a nation’s worth of eyes on the results at all times? 

While some groups can be highly effective and reasonably efficient, that tends to happen in smaller groups with complimentary skills. Throughout college, I’ve been in over thirty group projects, so I consider myself experienced enough to weigh in. 

        I personally have never been in an efficient group project composed of more than five people due to the sheer volume of interpersonal communication channels required. Each new group member begins to exponentially increase the number of interpersonal dynamics in the group, as well as creating new potential points of friction or failure and potentials for the project to buckle. 

        From a logistics standpoint, this is where most conspiracies fall apart for me. Given the difficulty of coordinating just eight college students whose grades all depend on the outcome for only one semester and only one project, I have a hard time imagining that a secret society could all be on the same page to conceal the whole planet’s shape indefinitely for a project that has spanned hundreds of years. 

        I’ve interned at multiple highly profitable companies, and my overwhelming takeaway is that when so much inefficiency exists with hundreds of millions of dollars on the line, I cannot fathom how much inefficiency would have piled up in an organization like the Illuminati. Given that money is one of the greatest drivers of human beings coordinating together, I find myself skeptical that an international organization driven by a general air of secrecy would be that much more efficient than an international company driven by profit. 

        Furthermore, my mom works in a government agency, so I’ve grown up with a close-up view of the layers of governmental bureaucracy that hinder any attempt at fast adaptation and agility of actions. Anyone who believes that the government could be staging covert assassinations of major public figures and hiding the existence of extraterrestrials frankly has a lot more faith in how good the government is at their jobs than I do. As I sit and accuse conspiracy theorists of being way too optimistic, I start to wonder if maybe I’m just too jaded. 

        To be perfectly honest, I don’t believe any secret societies are plotting against us, because I honestly just don’t believe secret societies have it in them. If any secret societies take issue with this stance, I suppose I’ll never know. 

        You know, on account of the secrecy.